Do you believe that talent is something you’re born with? And if that specific talent is missing, well then better give up or even better: don’t start. Then you’re more likely to be devastated by adversity. You’ll think something like, “I knew it. I’ll never be good at this. I’m not going to continue.”

Or

Do you have a mindset that believes in learning? Then you believe that when you work hard at it, it will be possible. You accept problems as a part of the learning process. Your mindset helps you to get through adversity.

There are two different mindsets to address adversity, problems, and challenges. In terms of the researcher Carol Dweck (author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success):

A closed mindset versus an open mindset.

As a leader you better embrace adversity. Adversity will always be there. An open mindset will help you handle adversity. You need to get out of your comfort zone and embrace that open mindset.

Years ago, Albert Einstein formulated it so well:

“I must be willing to give up what I am in order to become what I will be.”

But how do you do that?

Embracing The Open Mindset

Maybe I look like I always had a growth mindset. But that’s not the case.

A tiny example:

I grew up surrounded by piano players: my grandmother was a piano teacher; my mother is an excellent piano player, and my sister also knows how to play a song or two on the piano. So, I got lessons as well.

I wasn’t bad.

Then the piano teacher organized a small concert in a senior home. Another student and I were scheduled to play four hands (Two players playing a duet on a single piano at the same time).

The evening of the concert I was all dressed up. My mom got me a long skirt and my whole family was there.

Everything was set up for success. Except that…

The other student was very nervous. And she thought, “Better get this over quickly.” and she played faster and faster and faster. And I was hanging in there as best as I could but I’m sure that it sounded…well horrible might be the best term. The 10 minute duet was over in 5 minutes.

What did I do?

I gave up.

Stopped playing the piano. That day. Eleven years old.

Like many people, I don’t do well when things go wrong, when I screw up, and when I am not perfect.

But life offered more challenges and problems. Not so much around giving concerts but in other areas of my life. And I kept on moving forward. As a leader, you need to be able to handle adversity and become resilience.

You can train yourself to be resilient. Some tips:

1 – Accept that leadership is a journey

Even the most senior leaders are still growing every day. Of course, they can tap into their experience often but life offers them also new challenges and problems. Get a coach, go to leadership events, read leadership books and articles, and IMPLEMENT. Embrace the fact that you’re learning.

2 – Brag

I ask my clients for a brag on a regular base. Why? Because I’m convinced that we don’t brag enough. Bragging has nothing to do with being arrogant. It is telling another person who you can trust something that you’ve done well.

3 – Time-out

If something goes wrong, allow yourself to be upset about it. Talk with your coach or another trusted person. Allow yourself a specific time to digest your emotions and then…evaluate:

– What did you learn?

– What will you differently?

– What skills do you need to strengthen?

Adversity is here to stay. Work with it. Make friends with it. Don’t give in.