Words.

How would we lead without them?

I can’t even imagine it.

Sometimes we choose our words carefully.

For example when we:

– Have a crucial conversation with someone

– Interview someone for a job

– Present at a conference

– Let go of someone

However, often we’re not so conscious about our word choice.

And we choose tepid words that are inconsistent with leading.

Three Warning Signs:

Warning Sign One: Trying to

“Trying to” indicates that we’ll give it our best.

“Trying to” also indicates that we don’t take full ownership.

When we’re trying, we leave a back door open. It might not happen but we tried.

What if instead of saying “trying to” we say “determine.”

Then we go full out. We won’t give up. We’ll be on target.

Feel the difference between saying “try to” versus “determined” in the following sentences:

I’m trying to realize the vision.
or
I’m determined to realize the vision.

What do you think will resonate more with your co-workers?

These two utterances convey a much different sense of leadership.

Warning Sign Two: Have to

The verb “have” is a great word. Doesn’t it indicate everything that we have been given in life?

But by adding a tiny word – to – at the end, a word of richness and possibilities turns into something restricted.

It becomes a phrase indicating no choice and no freedom.

What happens if we use instead of “have to” the word: choose. Then we experience freedom; ownership, and control of our own destination.

The impact is huge.

Look at the difference between the following sentences:

 I have to help that co-worker today.
or
 I choose to help that co-worker today.

I have to give performance feedback this week.
or
 I choose to give performance feedback this week.

 I have to let go of that employee
or
 I choose to let go of that employee.

The words you use – “have to” or “choose” determine how you come across as a leader.

Warning Sign 3: Manager

How often do we think of ourselves of being a leader?

I bet not often.

The word leader is reserved for the famous and well-known people like Winston Churchill, Steve Jobs, or Mother Teresa.

It’s hard to acknowledge that we lead. It’s even harder to acknowledge that we’re a leader.

Why is that the case?

We don’t use certain words to avoid triggering other people.

Maybe you’re afraid that others will tell you to get off your high horse.
Maybe you’re afraid that others think that you’re bragging.
Maybe your co-workers will get high expectations that you might not meet.

What is it? What stops you from calling yourself a leader?

Words frame how we come across and the impact of our leadership.

So, choose your words well.

Be intentional about what words frame your leadership.

Be aware of your words choices.

Choose other words and see the difference in how you show up as a leader.